"Are you sure?" – The small question with a big impact on (work) life.

There are days when everything runs smoothly: teamwork is on point, communication flows effortlessly, and even the coffee machine cooperates. And then there are those other days. The ones where a single comment in a meeting feels like a needle prick, a colleague greets you grumpily in the morning, or your own presentation was… well, let’s just say “room for improvement.” Welcome to real work life!

In moments like these, I – and probably you too – often fall into the trap of quick judgments. “They’re doing that on purpose!” or “I’m just not good enough for this job.” Or the classic: “It’s obvious how things work around here.”

But is it really that obvious?

This is where one of my favorite questions comes into play: “Are you sure?”

Where does this question actually come from?

What’s fascinating is this: The art of questioning certainties is as old as humanity itself. Philosophers like Socrates, over 2,000 years ago, challenged their contemporaries with probing questions that made them ponder. The famous Socratic method is based on continually questioning what seems self-evident—not to expose someone, but to arrive at genuine insight and clarity.

Similarly, in Zen Buddhism, pausing and letting go of fixed opinions plays a central role. Zen masters regularly invite their students to examine their own beliefs—and in doing so, discover how often we are guided by prejudices or old patterns. The question “Are you sure?” is thus a modern, everyday adaptation of an ancient wisdom.

True understanding begins where we are willing to question our certainties.

When the autopilot takes over

Our brain loves shortcuts. It saves energy by drawing conclusions in a split second—especially when things get stressful. In daily work life, this can be practical, but it can also lead to misunderstandings, unnecessary frustration, or hasty decisions. The art lies in occasionally slowing down this autopilot and catching yourself in the act.

Imagine you’re sitting in a team meeting, and you hear a colleague make a comment that annoys you. Instantly, you’re convinced: That was a jab, for sure! But before you start building your defense strategy internally, pause for a moment and ask yourself: “Am I certain I understood the intention correctly?” Perhaps a brief exchange after the meeting will help—and suddenly, it turns out everything was meant completely differently. A small shift in perspective that can save the day.

Reading between the lines – and sometimes beyond them

We also tend to judge quickly when dealing with colleagues. Take, for example, the colleague who is particularly curt today. "How inconsiderate," you might think.

But what if you asked yourself: "Am I sure I know the whole story?" Perhaps their behavior stems from stress, a difficult client meeting, or personal worries. A little more understanding can work wonders here – and make interactions much more relaxed.

When the inner critic becomes too loud

Not only with others but also with ourselves, we are often merciless. A mistake in the presentation, a botched client meeting – and the inner voice whispers: "I’m not good enough for this job."

Here too, it’s worth taking a brief pause: "Am I sure that this mistake completely defines my abilities?" The answer is almost always: No. Mistakes are not the end of the road but often the beginning of growth – especially when we reflect on them together. A team discussion, a dose of self-compassion, and the willingness to learn from them can turn a stumbling block into a valuable experience.

Conflicts: being right or staying open?

Especially in heated discussions or deadlocked situations, it is tempting to cling to one's own standpoint.

But what happens if we ask ourselves: "Am I sure that I am right?" Perhaps our own perspective is just one of many possibilities – and a shift in perspective suddenly opens up new paths to a solution. A brief pause, a deep breath, and the willingness to accept other viewpoints can turn a conflict into a genuine learning moment.

Making decisions: uncertainty as a compass

Before major decisions—whether it’s changing jobs, starting a new project, or facing team changes—a chorus of uncertainties often arises. It can help to rate your confidence on a scale from 1 to 10. Where do you stand right now? And what would you need to move to a higher number? Perhaps you’re missing some information, or maybe a conversation with someone who has taken a similar step could help. Asking yourself, “Am I sure my fears are truly justified?” creates space to examine uncertainties instead of being paralyzed by them.

Between rumors and facts

Rumors and half-truths are also loyal companions in everyday work life. It's easy to become outraged by an internal message or a rumor making the rounds. But before you get carried away, ask yourself: "Am I sure this information is true?" Often, it helps to check the facts or directly ask the responsible person before the wave of excitement spreads through the team.

Strengthening relationships – within the team and in leadership

And finally: The question "Are you sure?" is not just a tool for your own mind but also a door opener for better collaboration. It invites early clarification of misunderstandings, joint reflection, and the creation of an open, trusting atmosphere—whether in a team or in leadership work. It reminds us that we rarely know the whole story and that true growth always comes from within—and together.

Tips for application: How you can use the question in everyday life

1. Mindful pause:

When you notice that you are upset about something, feeling insecure, or making a hasty judgment, take a brief moment. Take a deep breath – and then ask yourself: "Am I sure?"

2. Scale of certainty:

Especially when making decisions, it can be helpful to assess your own confidence on a scale from 1 to 10. Where do you stand? What is still missing to feel more confident? Who or what could help you with that?

3. Establishing in the team:

Invite your team to use the question together. For example, in meetings: “Are we all really sure that we have the same understanding?” This fosters a culture of inquiry rather than overlooking.

4. In case of conflict:

Use the question as a pause button: "Am I sure that I am right?" Often, this moment alone is enough to check your own stance and create space for other perspectives.

5. Dealing with rumors:

Before you get upset or pass something on: "Am I sure this is true?" Better to ask once more than to judge prematurely.

6. In self-leadership:

When the inner critic gets loud: "Am I sure that my mistake defines everything about me?" Probably not – and that's a good thing.

Conclusion: curiosity instead of certainty

"Are you sure?" is more than just a question – it’s an invitation to look closer, reflect, and grow together. Establishing this mindset in teamwork and leadership lays the foundation for a work environment that is not only efficient but also human, open, and resilient.

My prompt for you: Can you think of a situation in your daily work where "Are you sure?" could make a difference? Try it out – sometimes, a single moment of pausing is enough to change the direction.

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If any of this resonates with you or sparks a sense of curiosity, let’s connect! I’d love to hear your thoughts, explore ideas, and see where a conversation might take us. Whether it’s brainstorming, collaborating, or simply exchanging perspectives, I’m always up for meaningful discussions. Feel free to reach out—I’m just a message away!

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